Do cop glocks come in hot pink?

3 days ago the National Post printed an update on why women shouldn’t be cops the story of a Gatineau, Quebec cop who was shot during an investigation of a bush party;

The police officer who was reportedly shot by a “gunman” while raiding a Saturday night bush party in the Ottawa area has had her gun seized by detectives now investigating a working theory that she in fact accidentally shot herself in the leg

Let’s take a minute to digest this before we start thumping our chests in accordance with male superiority protocol…

So, a nice lady cop with penis envy, a badge, and a gun shot herself in the leg; I’m sure many cops shoot themselves in the line of duty.

Statistics Canada (Federal statistical agency) issues an annual report of police-related statistics titled Police Resources In Canada. Page 27 of the 2012 report shows that ladycops comprise 19.9% of nationwide police services, the total number of ladycops being 13, 838. If I go ahead and do the math for you, that means that 80.1% of nationwide police forces in Canada are males.

It would still be laughably fuck-the-police-ish if one of her male colleagues had shot themselves during this call, but statistically speaking we would logically expect the masochist to be a male cop since they comprise 80.1% of the police force in Canada. How wrong you’d be to expect such logical cause and effect when women are involved.

Strike one for french ladycop. She managed to beat the odds and outdo her male “counterparts” who outnumber her, on average, nationwide, 4:1. You go, girl, straight to the ER.

The Gatineau, Que., officer, in her 20s and with three years on the job, apparently drew her gun shortly after 10 p.m., then ran down a hill only to accidentally discharge her 9-mm service pistol, with a round hitting her right leg, the Ottawa Citizen has learned.

The officer then said she had been shot and needed assistance…

The officer’s police radio call for help made no mention that she had shot herself, and in turn, sparked a ground and helicopter search for a so-called gunman on the loose

Even if we let the fact that this cop shot herself slide for a second, and chalk it up to a mistake that anyone can make, how the fuck can you be granted the authority and trust of a government to uphold the laws of the land and kill its citizens if need be if you’re so solipsistically incapable of admitting you’ve fucked up to the point that you let your otherwise dormant police force go into overdrive to search for the “gunman”.

//Sidebar: One of Tomassi’s recent posts over at The Rational Male discusses the changes in language that the feminine imperative has been accomplishing to an ever-greater degree as of late. If you ever tried to get negatively-connotated nouns with the letters m-a-n in syntax replaced with “person”, the first thing a woman would do is pull up statistics about how words like “gunman” and “conman” are overwhelmingly, if not categorically representative of the domain actions of men. How many women are “fisherpersons”? I’m sure that fishing is an overwhelmingly male domain-specific hobby, so call me a “fisherman”, girls. Such discussion is lost on women, but sidebars are food for thought for you guys. Anyway, I digress.//

Moments later, three fellow officers carried her up the hill to an ambulance

So she wasn’t the only cop there, and since the sex of the other 3 cops isn’t declared, we have to believe that since only 1 in 5 cops in Canada is female that the other cops who didn’t shoot themselves were probably male. Furthermore, if they were females, even 3 of them together probably couldn’t have carried their wounded heroine to safety with their ladymuscles and incapability to operate a 9mm. Can’t you just picture the shitfest of 3 ladycops attempting to carry a self-harming ladycop up a hill while all accidentally succumbing to the same fate?

The massive police search, which included two forces and overtime expenses, failed to capture any gunman. The police search also failed to find a weapon at or near the scene, and police failed to identify any gunman after questioning 30 people who attended the bush party...

The officer is still in hospital awaiting minor surgery, according to Gatineau Police officer Pierre Lanthier.

Lanthier said the wounded officer is still in “shock” and not yet ready to be interviewed about what happened. The police said Tuesday that they could not yet “confirm or deny” if the young officer shot herself and prompted an unwarranted search for a gunman that didn’t exist

Aww, you poor thing. You’ve had a rough few days, huh? Strike two, ladycop. Not only did you shoot yourself, but you lied (women don’t think omissions are lies), causing undue expenditures for two police forces, including helicopter gas and donuts for the ground troops. Do you know how expensive helicopter gas is? Jesus Christ.

Remember how we, through much brain power and multiple formulae, came to the conclusion that the other 3 rescuing officers were probably male? It seems the male-dominated police force whom she caused a great deal of lost time and resources is still white knighting for her dumb ass;

Police did not cordon off the area as a crime scene, a routine procedure even for domestic calls not involving guns

Hmm, okay, so the police obviously knew what was up when they got there. I can just hear the 62 year old, grizzly police captain now…”Fucking affirmative action hiring…I told you these tarts would shoot themselves! Get her out of here, and keep this shit quiet, I can’t hire any more men, and god forbid the public finds out just how useful women in uniform are. Donut?”. Oh, white knights.

Anything else?

…police are no longer searching for any alleged gunman.

Meanwhile, the wounded officer remains in hospital surrounded by friends, family and colleagues while she awaits minor surgery, according to police

So, you shot yourself, lied and cost multiple police forces and taxpayers a shitton of time and resources, are too “in shock” at what happened to talk about the incident even though the press release states that you’re awaiting minor surgery, you had to be carried out of your own self-excavated grave by 3 male colleagues, and further saved by the male dominated police force who are white knighting to hide your stupidity and incompetency?

STRIKE THREE, lady. Turn in your badge and gun, for the safety of all those little frenchy children you probably pass on your patrols every day with a handgun within your reach.

She should make all of those cops who searched for her “gunman” a hearty sandwich (once the “shock” of your non-life threatening, self-inflicted wound wears off, darling) because not only should she be held accountable for incompetency and obstruction of a police investigation, but those guys are probably hungry from all that pointless searching.

Nothing will come of this. Even though she lied and cost them those resources, the picture painted by the article makes it quite clear the way the police force(s) and media will swing it.

Girl power!